Sunday, December 19, 2010


This may be the last post from this site, yet to be determined.
Hubby, in his infinite, lazy wisdom, instead of pushing a simple button on his own computer to turn it on, used mine when setting up a gmail account for his brother. Sounds innocent enough, EXCEPT it piggy backed my account to his... and after much clicking and before I realized it, I had reset the password for my brother in laws email account. Now, from what I understand, he rarely checks his email unless his girlfriend does it for him. If she should check it, and not be able to access it, they may reset the password again, and I may lose the ability to come back on here, and will have to set up a different one, which I really don't want to do.

I hate change, and I hate when change is wrongly forced on me, so with that, if I can't reach him to let him know what's up and I can't get in here anymore, I bit you adeu for now, only hoping this mess will get cleared up and I can remain ME...

signing off for now, possibly forever from this particular one,

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

So much to be thankful for...

This is the time of year when we think of all we have,
those we love,
things that really matter beyond the day to day grind.
Some of the things we are thankful for are 'the usual' -
That's so generic, really. What is at the heart of what and why we are truly thankful?

I am thankful for wonderful in-laws that aren't perfect, and have shown me that all families can be dysfunctional to some degree but they're still good.
I'm thankful for my mother in law, who has always been a warm, loving and unconditionally caring person, a huge part of why I stuck around when Rob was in his own world. Yes, dear, I hung around for your mother :)
I'm thankful for my father in law, who was a very scary man for the 1st year we dated,
but after that was the best father figure I've ever had.
He made me feel loved, safe, accepted, even if he didn't always 'get' me.
I miss him so much.
I'm thankful for my brother and sisters in law, the only brothers I have.
It's a nice extended family, who isn't perfect but still cares about each other.
and oh my gosh, Sherry is the absolute best sister in law in the world, she is almost like a mini-me of my mother in law, a rare and amazing thing to be cherished.

I'm thankful for my family, even if we drive each other crazy :)
My mom... that's a loaded one LOL!
She can make us crazy but it's something I aspire to be to my own kids, so it's all good.
Any time you can start a sentence with "MY mom...", and to be able to get your own kids to start sentences out that way, good stuff!!!
Mom has a way to push Rob in a way I can't and he handles her better than I would expect.
I think she's really helped him mature in ways others couldn't.
My sisters, we have had alot of fun together now that's we're all grown, the age difference growing up made it more difficult, as they were 11 months apart and I was 7 and 8 years older.
It's nice having sisters that you can relate to, encourage and laugh with over and over.

I'm strangely thankful to my 1st boyfriend for showing me it can be safe to trust and care about someone and let them care about you. He bridged the gaping hole my father left, where I felt I could never trust anyone or allow myself to open up and love and be loved. Without that bridge, I'm fairly sure I wouldn't be married today,
he showed me there really ARE good guys still out there.

I'm oddly thankful for even the horrible things that have happened in life that have helped mold me and make me who I am. Sure, I still have hurts but out of hurts come strengths we didn't know we had or could have. Convictions that we have strong and valid reasons for, even if other people don't understand.

Life is complicated, full to overflowing with the good, the bad and the ugly.
Without the bad and the ugly, could we really appreciate the truly good as much?

What are you thankful for?
What has helped shape who you are?

Friday, November 12, 2010


Wow, this seems to be a twice a year thing, oh dear diary,
do you even remember me???

I saw this and it was perfect. I was actually browsing pretty, elegant or just close renditions of what our dinner table for Thanksgiving would look like and I find this. Sure says it all , doesn't it??

Oh the memories of family gatherings, should give you the warm fuzzies,
until family...
for years, I had to make actual seating charts to keep those that didn't like each other apart, usually due to the fact one likes the other while that other one can't stand the 1st.. oh the drama...
and 'so-in-so' makes 'what's-her-name' angry,
this one offended that one, and on and on and on it goes...
my great aunt adored my grandma and for a reason nobody has ever known,
grandma despised the great aunt, so they couldn't even sit so one could see the other or grandmas blood would curdle... really people??
There are valid reasons sometimes, but it's a holiday, put it aside for the day and fake it like everybody else, seriously!!!

For years I thought my in-laws were the ideal functional family.
Then over the years the subtleties are noticeable... geez, is ANYBODY function in ANY family?? somebody give me some hope here!
This one doesn't like that one, this one irritates the other one,
years ago this one did something to that one, and it's not a forgiving bunch! Decades can pass between the offense and when they can be in the same room and one not still be seething, wow, I think all families are a mess.
Can anybody convince me otherwise??

This is the holiday to kick off the big couple month holiday season.
I 'DO' love Thanksgiving.
I 'do' it every other year now.
I work the other 'other' Thanksgivings and
cook for my side of the family the other years,
when my sister from Indiana comes to town.
I look forward to it, love cooking for it, and just hanging out and
just being together.
Even on bad years, we enjoy being together.
On rough years, we at least can fake it and appear like normal people :)

Then after Thanksgiving, the 'fun' begins, but that's for the next blog,
which will be soon, I promise, so much more to get out of my system

Saturday, June 5, 2010

wow, missing in action since November??

Wow, I can hardly believe it's been since November since I last updated this.
So much has gone on, I don't know where to start...
Aging can be fun but at times just sucks rocks.
Hormones are evil. Just when things are going really well, the hormones get all wacked out and make me in such a funk I have no motivation and just feel down and I am NOT a down person :(
At least realizing it's a hormone thing helps but it still bites.
Just a couple weeks ago they started re-doing our subdivision. This was taken by Shanna, as the guy was having way too much fun popping wheelies while working. They have one more layer to put on before it's all done, no idea when that will be.
Work is going ok. Mostly good but Wednesday was a rotten, awful, terrible, very bad day.
I started it out by opening, which is fine but when we opened at 5,within 5 minutes I became COVERED in milk/shake mix from neck to toes... yes and with an audience... I was sticky, wet, gross and limited... it took forever to get that mess AND me cleaned up, we were kinda busy to boot...I had to call and wake up Shanna to come bring me a new set of clothes. I felt like I was walking in paste...
then the phone rings and it's a guy complaining and talking down to me like I'm an idiot.
All this over a single piece of cheese. A single piece of cheese set this guy off and ruined his day?
Really??? a piece of cheese?? I'm COVERED in shake mix and a piece of cheese turns this guy nuts. WOW... at 1st I felt completely beat on and defeated, then it was pretty funny. I stood there all wet, sticky and gross and I'm hearing an end-of-the-world recount over how a piece of cheese made this guy so angry... sad, yet funny. I've never been so happy to have a 3 day weekend. Yesterday I took it insanely easy. I did wash all our bedding/blankets/etc and cleaned our room. I read a bit and watched a couple movies with Rob. A very nice, relaxing day.
Today I got up kinda early, for a day off, started out VERY Slowly. washed by hair by 11am... played on the computer a while, then started getting slightly productive. I guess it's time to get back to that before the urge subsides and I veg instead.

Oh diary, forgive me for all my neglect, I will try to come back more often, if the hormones don't invade again and get me back in a funk....